Stress

I have been thinking about stress a lot lately. It's really not all that it's cracked up to be. My typical MO is to stuff down, deep inside, all my feelings of frustration, rage, and disappointment...but lately, the craziest thing has been happening. I've started crying when I feel too overwhelmed.

Believe me, I'm not a crier. But lately, the tears flow. I miss my dad like crazy. Some days I can barely stand the pain of not being able to just call him up and talk to him. He was my sounding board. One of the only people in my life who would just listen, and listen some more. Let me get all my talking out first, before asking me any questions. Man, I miss him so much. I cry a lot now, especially when the pain is overwhelming.

And living with stinkbugs, in a small 426 square foot place is hard. Just this morning, our landlord got home in the middle of the morning. The 4 dogs started going nuts, we heard her yelling, and the cat (that's kept in the bathroom right on the other side of our bedroom) wouldn't stop meowing and scrathing the wall. I swear that bathroom must be completely destroyed from the cats that are being kept in there. Have I ever mentioned that our landlord has a ton of animals??? If you look closely, you almost might think it's Noah's Ark on crack. There are 6 rabbits in the garage, 4 dogs in the main house, 3 barn cats in the breezeway, and now 5 (?) cats in the upstairs bathroom. Although I must say that those cats are supposed to go through the adoption process and be placed in homes. Dear God, I hope that happens soon.


SO really, is it any wonder that I've been crying more lately? Add those things on top of raising a 2 1/2 year old (in 426 square feet of space) who fights her way through life. Her favorite phrases are No!, I want to do it!, Stop! and Don't do that! She is fiercly independent, which she comes by naturally, but it makes for very interesting afternoons at home.

I'm a working mom, just trying to balance life. I think that by itself is a pretty big task. But add all these other things on top, and it makes quite a messy masterpiece called my life.

Stink bugs, I loathe thee

I knew this day was coming sooner or later. And, the days have arrived. The stinkbugs have returned, and I find that my anxiety level has tripled. And why? Do these bugs bite? No. Do they get into your food and eat like mice? BUT, they are bugs. And they get into everything. And, they stink really, really bad. Like the worst smell ever, magnified 20 times.

Our new daily routine is setting off a bug bomb in the attic, and then going up the next day to vacuum out the new bugs. This morning, I needed to get down Aleena's winter clothes and the fall decorations. Went upstairs to find HUNDREDS of dead stink bugs all over the floor, especially on each side of the attic. I'm sending Glenn up later to vacuum them out. And I find myself saying, How much longer God? I just don't think I can do this any more.