It just dawned on me today that when you say a prayer for strength to get through the week, just be prepared for situations that require strength! Grad school projects were weighing me down, and pure exhaustion kicked in by, oh I don't know, 9 AM on Monday morning. I didn't know how I would make it through the week, so I asked for strength. Then, my ten month old got sick for the first time ever in her little life. Seeing a temperature of a 103 degrees, and feeling her little cheeks burning up was enough to put me right over the edge. On top of it all, my students were taking two state tests this week, and I couldn't take the time off of work, so I had to trust my hubby to take care of the baby. Not an easy thing for me to do. But here it is, Friday afternoon, and I'm sitting with the baby as she eats cheerios and throws her sippy cup off of the high chair (a little game she's fond of these days). Fortunately, her fever broke yesterday afternoon, and she's back to her adorable, yet strong willed, self. And some how, I made it through the week.
I've been thinking a lot lately about "stuff." I don't mean a multitude of different topics, I literally mean accumulating stuff, material possessions if you will. Why is it that stuff holds us back from being where we really want to be? Whether it's the fear of not having what you believe you need, or developing a certain comfort level, or just wanting to have possessions that make life easier, "stuff" just really gets in the way. Maybe it's keeping the car you feel you deserve to have, or hanging onto to the latest "toy" that your significant other bought, or staying in the house that you can't afford but have worked too hard to lose now. I'm not here to judge anyone and their stuff. I bought a house that I couldn't afford. I had a beautiful four bedroom town home with a fireplace, beautiful hard wood floors and a finished basement. We could accommodate both families staying with us at the same time, could paint the walls any color we wanted (and we did), and we bought lots of furniture to fill each of the rooms. Then, one day we realized that we just couldn't afford our stuff. With a baby on the way, daycare costs lurking around the corner, and mortgage payments that were forcing us to live paycheck to paycheck, we had to make some changes....drastic changes. Enter, the shack, into the picture.
I'll never forget moving into this place. I insisted that we bring my piano, the kitchen island, our futon, and small things too, like a full box of Tupperware. Boy, did my heart break when I realized that I either needed to let some "stuff" go, or I wouldn't be able to walk in our new home. Literally. Let me tell you, 490 square feet fills up quickly. We sold the futon, the kitchen island and two matching chairs (sniff, I still miss that!), and even down sized our Tupperware. I got to keep the piano, which I've had since I was like 10, so it's very close to my heart. (My husband likes to remind me that I never play it, but I keep telling him that the pvc piping that the whole thing is propped up on makes it uncomfortable to play anyway...) I guess I'm saying all this to say, Once you start getting rid of "stuff" and downsize, letting things go gets easier.
Maybe that's the kind of attitude we're supposed to live life with, right? Thank you God that you have placed this "stuff" into my life for a season. I will rejoice for now, trusting that You know that I need. And, I will keep my hands open and my palms upward in case it gets taken away and replaced with something new.
The danger lies in receiving something and grasping onto it so tightly that our knuckles turn white, and suddenly we focus on our grip and not losing the "stuff" rather than enjoying it while we have it. I"m learning that everything in life comes through seasons. Nothing lasts forever (well, except for eternity, and that's not on this side of heaven), and I'm realizing that I can rejoice, even in the really hard seasons, because I know it won't last forever. God isn't going to give me more than I can bear. Easier said than done! I press on toward the prize...toward the goal for which You've called me to.
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