I keep bleeding, I keep keep bleeding love...

My daughter had been out of the hospital for exactly one week, and I was marveling at the fact that she was at daycare and things were starting to feel normal again. In the morning, I had a doctor's appointment with my primary care doctor, where I intended to convince him that I could go back to work for the last week of school. After being off work for two months, I felt ready to tackle the last week- in fact, I NEEDED that closure with my students. Although he felt I should still rest my ankle as much as possible, he said he'd let me go back as long as I "took it easy" and elevated my feet as much as possible. I was happy to oblige, and I walked out of the office with my signed release to go back to work.

About an hour later, I just didn't feel right. I felt unsettled and like something was wrong. I called up my OB's office and explained that I just wasn't comfortable with some of the symptoms that I began to experience. The pressure, the pain, it just didn't seem right. The office fit me right in, and by early afternoon I was sitting in the room waiting to be seen by the PA. Carol walked in with her usual warm smile and began asking questions. I explained that something just didn't seem right. I was concerned and listened my symptoms- pain, pressure, etc. She calmly assured me that she would check to make sure everything was okay. I smiled as we listened to the baby's strong heart beat and began talking about how much he/she was moving. Since everything in my belly seemed cope-static, she continued the exam. And after 30 seconds, it became apparent that everything was NOT okay. In her soothing voice, she said to me, "Christine, you've started to bleed a lot. I need to get people in here to help me. I think you may have to go to the hospital."

I stifled my panic. This was NOT happening! She kept talking to me, making sure I stayed conscience, and two other women came into the room to assist. An ambulance was called, and I was told I would be rushed to the hospital where they would find the source of the bleeding. Before they loaded me into the ambulance, Carol listened to the heart beat again. It was still solid, and she smiled quietly. "It's going to be is okay, Christine. You are going to be okay, and so will the baby."

I was strapped down onto an ambulance bed, and I closed my eyes. Dear God, please. I'm all alone. This is too much for me to bear...I was loaded into the back of the vehicle...Please, God. I feel so out of control here. I need You to put Your hands right around this baby and protect it, please. We haven't come this far to lose it all. Please...I silently prayed as the doors closed and I was whisked away to the hospital. I mostly looked at the ceiling of the ambulance as we drove and tried my best to answer the questions of the paramedics. I knew they just wanted to make sure that I was stable and didn't go unconscious, but I just wanted the quiet. I couldn't cry. I couldn't do anything. I just laid there and felt helpless.

We arrived at the ER about 25 minutes later and were ushered right into the labor and delivery unit. All I could think of was, It's too early. It's not time. I'm only halfway there. A nurse came and placed a monitor on my belly. She warned me that they may not be able to pick up the baby's heart beat with the device since I was only 20 weeks. She would have to go get the Doppler if the baby couldn't be heard. After what seemed like an eternity of trying, she took the monitor off of me and said, Please don't worry yet. I'll go get the Doppler. Who me, worry? That you can't find my baby's heart rate? Or that I just took an ambulance to the hospital by myself? Or that I started bleeding and you don't know why? Which part should I not worry about? I felt like freaking out. I wanted to jump out of my bed and start screaming, Enough is enough! I can't do this! And then, I felt the baby move. It moved a couple times and then settled in the middle of my belly, and I knew everything was going to be okay.



The nurse returned with a Doppler and placed it on my belly just in time for my OB to walk in. We all waited and listened as a strong 147 heart beat came through the machine. My doctor's face lit up, and he said, "That is the best part of my day, right there! A heart beat and it sounds great!" They did an ultrasound immediately, and there was the baby, happy as could be. Moving around like crazy, hiding from the technician as much as possible. No ruptured placenta, no bleeding from where the baby was. Everything looked great. My doctor was puzzled and couldn't understand why I had bleeding in the first place. He had to leave for about a half hour to go deliver a baby right across the hall from me, but he assured me he would be back to figure things out.

The best way to explain my scary experience is a spontaneously awful bloody nose. Venus sinus can form and rupture, pooling out blood from anywhere that there is a lot of vascular activity. Given the fact that a pregnant woman's body changes so much, it's not uncommon to develop these pockets of blood and have them rupture. Not exactly common, but "just one of those weird things that can happen during pregnancy" my doctor said. He placed me on strict bed rest, only allowing me to get up for the bathroom, to shower, and to eat. He warned me that this could happen again, and that the more I rest, the less likely it will happen. I have never been good at resting, but I'll tell you what- I will become a professional "rester" if it means I can avoid another ambulance ride and trip to labor and delivery before it's time.