Paying off debt

Christine's Rules/Thoughts on becoming debt free Rule 1: Be willing to sacrifice. Even if it means living in a small room, which takes away any and all ability to have your own space. Rule 2: Hang on for dear life. There will be moments when you are pushed beyond what you thought capable. And, you will hear yourself or your partner say, Just hang on a little longer. Rule 3: Keep a count down of your debt. Every time you pay down your bills, keep track of it. Post it on the fridge as a constant reminder that all the sacrificing is worth it. Rule 4: After you pay off one part of your debt, take the money that you would normally put toward that bill and put it towards another one of the bills that you are still working on. Repeat. Rule 5: Continually simplify. If it's in a box and you haven't used it in 6 months, chances are you really don't need it. Donate clothes, toys, books, shoes, furniture, etc. that takes up space but is not being used. Rule 6: Talk with others who are going through the same thing. It's easy to feel alone when going through something like this. Allow others' to encourage you. Rule 7: Celebrate after you meet your goals! Give each other a high five, go out to dinner! Find a way to celebrate.

The sound of my heart crashing

Finally, finally Glenn and I both believe that it's time to move on. We are outgrowing our 2 room apartment. Imagine that. We have finally outgrown our 526 square feet. Living on top of each other is getting old. And you know who else is getting older? My two year old! It's hard sharing a room with a little girl who also needs her own space. So, we went yesterday to look at this amazing home. Located on top of a ridge overlooking a valley. It was a beautiful 3 bedroom, two and a half bathroom house. The kitchen was beautiful, there was plenty of storage, a finished basement, a fenced in yard for the dog, and even a place to create a garden. It was perfect for us. Whether we realized it or not, Glenn and I both got our hopes up. And rightly so. It seemed that this home had come into our lives for a reason. It was the perfect place to move. Way beyond all we could have asked for. The right price range, a perfect location, and a beautiful home for a our small family. Had God led us to the perfect home? Imagine the crash that was heard round the world as my heart splattered all over the floor upon hearing a rejection voicemail and reading a rejection e-mail. We knew it was a possibility that the property owner could possibly choose the other couple who had beaten us to seeing the property. Now, they had in fact, beaten us out of the opportunity to live in an unbelievable house, with an unbelievable view. How do you pick up the pieces of expectations?

Wind in my Sail

About two months ago, Glenn and I created a list of "wants." Ya know, things that we would want to have in a house that we rented in the future. The list went something like this- Christine 2-3 bedroom house 2 bathrooms a large kitchen with plenty of counter space walk in closet storage in the basement room for my piano a garage or storage a nice sized living room a nice yard, big enough for our dog Glenn 2 bedroom apartment 1.5 bathrooms basement or alternative storage electric heat utilities included 20 minute commute to work medium to large kitchen a/c heat pump So, I found a home for rent on craigslist that seems to have every single one of these "wants!" Trying so hard to not get my hopes up. Can't wait to see if this is the place. Something in my spirit says, This is it!

The water that broke the camel's back

Water. Simple. To the point. And why does it always seem that you need water when you are without? Our landlord had work done on her pool. Like, a TON of work done on the pool. It was completely drained, power washed with acid, and re-tiled. "Momma, look! The pool is clean!" my two year old cheered as we walked up the stairs one day after school. I had to laugh. We spent most of the summer staring at green water. For some reason, maintaining the correct pH balance for clean and clear water seemed to be impossible for our landlord. We certainly swam in the pool and tried to ignore the fact that it looked more like a pond rather than a beautiful inground swimming pool. Hey, who wouldn't in 98 degree summer heat?! Anyways, the problem with emptying a huge pool of all its water is that sooner or later, it needs to be filled again. So, on one beautiful Saturday morning as I covered my hands with soap and reached to turn on the water, I was shocked to find we had no running water coming out of our sinks. Needless to say, I was NOT happy. My hubby later explained that when the hose is on so that the pool can be refilled, the water pressure for our apartment goes way down. WHAT??? "It's only for a week," he replied. But, I knew better. One week can easily turn into 4 weeks.

Stress

I have been thinking about stress a lot lately. It's really not all that it's cracked up to be. My typical MO is to stuff down, deep inside, all my feelings of frustration, rage, and disappointment...but lately, the craziest thing has been happening. I've started crying when I feel too overwhelmed.

Believe me, I'm not a crier. But lately, the tears flow. I miss my dad like crazy. Some days I can barely stand the pain of not being able to just call him up and talk to him. He was my sounding board. One of the only people in my life who would just listen, and listen some more. Let me get all my talking out first, before asking me any questions. Man, I miss him so much. I cry a lot now, especially when the pain is overwhelming.

And living with stinkbugs, in a small 426 square foot place is hard. Just this morning, our landlord got home in the middle of the morning. The 4 dogs started going nuts, we heard her yelling, and the cat (that's kept in the bathroom right on the other side of our bedroom) wouldn't stop meowing and scrathing the wall. I swear that bathroom must be completely destroyed from the cats that are being kept in there. Have I ever mentioned that our landlord has a ton of animals??? If you look closely, you almost might think it's Noah's Ark on crack. There are 6 rabbits in the garage, 4 dogs in the main house, 3 barn cats in the breezeway, and now 5 (?) cats in the upstairs bathroom. Although I must say that those cats are supposed to go through the adoption process and be placed in homes. Dear God, I hope that happens soon.


SO really, is it any wonder that I've been crying more lately? Add those things on top of raising a 2 1/2 year old (in 426 square feet of space) who fights her way through life. Her favorite phrases are No!, I want to do it!, Stop! and Don't do that! She is fiercly independent, which she comes by naturally, but it makes for very interesting afternoons at home.

I'm a working mom, just trying to balance life. I think that by itself is a pretty big task. But add all these other things on top, and it makes quite a messy masterpiece called my life.

Stink bugs, I loathe thee

I knew this day was coming sooner or later. And, the days have arrived. The stinkbugs have returned, and I find that my anxiety level has tripled. And why? Do these bugs bite? No. Do they get into your food and eat like mice? BUT, they are bugs. And they get into everything. And, they stink really, really bad. Like the worst smell ever, magnified 20 times.

Our new daily routine is setting off a bug bomb in the attic, and then going up the next day to vacuum out the new bugs. This morning, I needed to get down Aleena's winter clothes and the fall decorations. Went upstairs to find HUNDREDS of dead stink bugs all over the floor, especially on each side of the attic. I'm sending Glenn up later to vacuum them out. And I find myself saying, How much longer God? I just don't think I can do this any more.

Un-comfortable

I'm uncomfortable in every sense of the word- in every aspect of my life. I wish I could come up with a much better word, but uncomfortable is all I've got. I'm uncomfortable with where we live, all 526ft of our 2 room apartment. I'm uncomfortable with having to walk in between rabbits to get to the washer and dryer. I'm uncomfortable with the environment of my work place. Every day, as I pull into the parking lot at school, I say to myself, "Christine, you are not defined by what car you drive or by where you live. You are defined by the character inside you." Still, it's hard to park next to a brand new Lexus, or latest model of an SUV, and not feel slightly embarrassed of our 1997 Saturn, otherwise known as "Red Rocket". I'm uncomfortable with not having any close friends here in Virginia. I cringe as people I barely know say the casual "Hi, how are you?" as they shake my hand or give me a hug. They don't really want to know how I feel, because if I said, "Ya know, I'm pretty uncomfortable right now in my life" that would only make them uncomfortable. And, let's just be honest, NO ONE in their right mind would choose to be out of their comfort zone.
I'm uncomfortable with the fact that I no longer have my father. He died 8 months ago, and I just can't seem to adjust to the new normal where I can no longer pick up the phone and hear his voice on the other end. My drive home from work is more lonely these days, and I am only reminded that there are very few people that I do call to talk with and confide in. I have my husband and my daughter here in Virginia. I have my mom in SC, and my friend, Carol on speed dial. And then, there's God. He's not exactly on speed dial, but we talk more now than we used to. Actually, I blame God for my uncomfortableness. Whether or not it's fair or the right thing to do, I blame him. It's easier than blaming myself. Perhaps if I could figure out how to be content, no matter what situation, I'd be more comfortable in general. It's not forever, but it sure does feel like it right now.